Hands

 

Thinking about hands today.  We so take for granted what we can do with our hands.  This picture is a collage of things I put on a piece of something I found along a lake probably 40 years ago.  Think it may have been part of a lid for an old bushel basket.  Anyway we use our hands, abuse our hands, and love our hands.  When I left hubby at the assisted living yesterday I had a hold of his hand and it felt so strange,  it is so soft and smooth now.  Not the rough hands of  the man Ive know for 45 years.  It is just a single memory that I don't think I will ever forget.  

Life changes

 Sitting here wondering what I want to say today.  Here it is June.  I guess a few big things in my life is its been almost 3 months that hubby has been back to assisted living so that has been an adjustment.  It was his choice.  The subject kept coming up and Id talk him out of it.  Since his last stay there almost 2 years ago we have continued to go out to visit and go to their special events.  Have made some pretty good friends there.  So this time the transition has been easier for both of us.  He is back on hospice and I have finally letting go of thinking I am in control of everything, so that has helped me a lot .  He seems pretty content, made new friends seems to like his routine.  We have established Monday to be our date day.  I pick him up for lunch either locally or in Joplin or back to the house usually ending up here to sit on the porch awhile and have coffee.  After an hour or 2 he says hes ready to go home.  His dementia is worse but still seems to carry on pretty good conversations.  He frequently does say he wishes this could just all be over with and I don't blame him  At 94 he is ready.  He seems excited about my trips I have planned, as I try hard to not feel guilty.  I do know my years are limited in my ability to travel or drive on long trips   I have found group trips are wonderful as I went to Scotland with a group almost 2 years ago.  What an eye opener that was   I so loved it and wish I could go back and stay a couple weeks just in Edinburgh.  So much to see and learn. Back then we hired a caregiver to come daily to spend a few hours with him every day but then later it just wasn't smart to have him alone so long.

So I guess what was on my mind was to just chat about this change in my life.  As for myself, I feel good and contented to be alone to sleep when I want and eat when and what I want, focusing on health.  I am actually doing my first 5K next Saturday  Hope I win a special award to the best in the old ladies division. 

 

2025 Stuff

 Seems I always think of adding a post at the beginning of the year and go back and read my entries for last 2 or 3 years.  Same old stuff,  getting older, elderly husband hanging in there, wanting to get rid of stuff, and on and on.  Well this year I really am getting rid of stuff.  We have a great place to donate to that supports our no kill animal shelter, and another that supports a homeless shelter.  The plan is to add something every day to my donation box,  maybe several things.  Just pick an area of the house and start sorting.  

Also this has been another year of lots of ups and ending with a really downer.

Lets see, my trips.  The end of May I took 2 weeks, spent first week with my old best friend in Iowa, then up to Wisconsin to spend a week with my 2 nieces, back to Iowa for a lay over then on home.  I had a nurse friend from Reno fly out and stay with us.  She looked after Al  while I was gone.  Lots of driving, listening to my audiobook and following my GPS.  I love the country of northern Iowa and into Wisconsin.  It was a bitter sweet trip as I helped my good friend, Betty with some of her medical trips the week I was there, she had been sick all winter.  Here was a lady that hated doctors so hadn't been to one for herself since her last baby over 50 years ago.  Long story short she had pretty advanced cancer.  When I stopped by on my way back from Wi. we said our goodbyes and shed some tears as we knew we would never see each other again in this life time.  She passed away in Sept while I was in NC on another trip.  It breaks my heart as she was my Iowa anchor that always got me to come back home.  Now I feel I have no real reason to return. 

In Sept I did a tour bus half trip.  We have a local tour company who travels by bus all over the US.  So they had one going to the Outer Banks of NC.  I stayed with them for 6 days.  Was great fun to stay 4 nites in hotel right on the Atlantic ocean and got to tour up and down the outer banks, to museums, light houses and even up in the sand dunes to find the wild horses.  My niece drove down from Richmond Va and picked me us as the big red bus traveled on to Myrtle Beach and into Georgia before going home.  My niece took me to my brothers home in more central NC and I spent 4 days with him, celebrated his birthday and got to see many nieces and nephews and their families.  Sad spot was that the older brother I visited while I was there 2 years ago had passed away this last spring.  His ashes were spread into the surf near Cape Hatteras where I had just been. Anyway, I rented a car and drove home from Ron's.  Most exciting point was driving thru Nashville at 6 am doing 70 mile per hour in 5 to 6 lanes of traffic.  Guess there is never a slow time there.  But I made it home.  Another local friend stayed with hubby this time.  

Lets see Al had been on hospice most of the year but with minimal change we canceled it in Sept when I got home.  A year ago in Dec he had a really bad spell and was in hosp.  Brain sort of scrambled.  He was having alot of TIAs  We have him with VA for his medical care and they encouraged us to try Eloquis and get him off the coumadin.  It seemed to make a difference and his TIAs really slowed down.  Some days he still wants to just get this all over with and to not be here.  But we take it one day at a time.  

So this is getting long and it brings me up to Nov when I was the one with the major medical emergency, but this is enough for today.  Ill see if I can find a great picture to attach here.