I don't think Walmart has enough spackle to fill this crack!

This was sent to me in an e-mail with alot of similar "ugly" pictures of people shopping at Walmart. You know Sat. I went to Walmart in the evening. Let me tell you that is a bad time to shop. But I did notice some pretty gross people. I am pretty forgiving, and understand that alot of folks don't have much money, but give me a break, stuff like this picture is not an accident. I did catch myself staring at a guy as I was leaving the check out stand. He was rather large and (excuse me) ugly. He had his head shaved except for this circle on top that was about the size of a cereal bowl and the hair was about 2 inches long and sort of curled nicely under at the edges. Ugh! I am sure the Honey he had at his side thought he was a darling.

Thought for the day: Guess its true, there IS someone for everyone. Just have to look or maybe just go to Walmart.

Happy Mr. Wren

Hope this will play OK, it is my first try at posting a video. The wrens were back this morning and adding to their furniture. Just wanted to share their happy song!

Spring is here, birds are doing their thing!

I just hung the Gourd bird house 2 days ago. About died laughing last pm watching Mr. Wren try to carry twigs into the small opening. I thought he had it when he got on the railing and kept working on the twig, it was about 10 in. long. He finally had ahold of the end so I thought he had it as he hopped up and kept trying to thread it into the hole, but then he dropped it. Next twig was much smaller and fit. This morning early we heard alot of chitter/chatter going on and I stood again at the window and here is what I heard:

Pop: Well Honey, what do you think of the new house I found?

Mom: Well it looks pretty good Tweet Thing, but it is awful close to that big house.

Pop: Oh, Fluffy Stuff, they won't bother us, but what about that strange red house with the tiny guys slurping up that juicy stuff.

Mom: I don't think they will be bad if they don't fight to much, I hear they are known for that, Sweetums.

Pop: Did you notice how we have our own perch on top to sit and watch over our estate, Sugar Beek?

Mom: Oh yes, and how nice it will be to have the babies swinging when the wind blows, (I think she was blushing)

Pop: Jumping up and down, so excited, he dropped the twig he was holding.

Sad Day

I just found out that my old blog site has finally shut down! I posted on it for 5 or 6 years. I liked the site as I could do photo albums that were cool and I had lots of pictures on it. I got a message that it was closing down a few months ago and really tried to activate it so I could transfer it to another location. But guess since I hadn't used it for over a year I was locked out and have moved and have a different e-mail that made it impossible to get in. So I am stuck here with this one which I have come to love. It has some great features. Wonder how many years I can write my drivel and it still be out there in cyber space?

So goodbye to my old site.

Isn't is silly to feel a loss over something like this when there is so much tragedy going on with all the tornadoes tearing up the country. But maybe we need to have some silliness to balance us.

Thought for the day: Ever wonder why it is that Conservatives are called the "right" and Liberals are called the "left"? This verse in the Bible explains: "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Ecclesiastes 10:2 Amen

A picture is worth 1,000 words

I have mentioned before that my hubby hates to have his picture taken. This is an example of what I have to put up with when I try to take his picture. He moves real fast so it will be messed up. But while I am on the subject of pictures I want to share my thoughts about pictures.

Have you ever looked back at pictures of yourself, family and friends and wistfully wished that you still looked like that? I think we all do it. I used to be blond, for alot of years till about 4 years when I let it go natural to my "steel" gray. But when I see pictures of my blond hair I sort of wish it were still blond, then I realize that I am not that age either, so there lies the real wish I think.

I have recently been looking at pictures of my hubby when he was a young man and I didn't know him then. I feel that wistfulness that I wish I could have known him when he was young. But you know what I have come to realize? I do know him and he is right here beside me. We are all just the same as when we were young. Inside we are who we are no matter the age. We may have gray hair, sags, wrinkles, and weak legs but that's just on the outside. Inside we still have that smooth skin, strong muscles, and dance in our step.

Thought for the day: We all get heavier as we get older, because there's alot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Good Days of Fishing

My hubby is pretty sneaky about letting me take his picture, so this is a favorite of him doing what he likes best. Sitting at a beautiful lake in Colorado catching trout. Now this is really the tough life, as we were able to just back the pickup right to the waters edge and use the tailgate to manage our bait. These were scrappy fish with pink meat like a salmon. This picture was almost 2 years ago. Maybe we will make it back there again one day. There is a great campground up in the trees. The top picture was taken from our camp site looking out to the lake late in the evening. Other than the cows that wondered thru camp in the evening it was very peaceful. We were in the open range area. Oh, and that scratching that I heard under the edge of the tent trailer that I was sure was a bear. Well it could have been!! You laugh like my husband!

Thought for the day: If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport- you'll get a free x-ray and a pat down, and if you mention Al Queda, you get a colonoscopy.

Sad story

This is a touching story of two brothers seperated at birth, a story of life and death, and the cruel twist of fate. Happy Easter

I am more than just a number!

Ok, I forewarn you, this is a rant today!

Being in the medical profession for over 35 years I feel I have some perspective on health care. This week I had to have 2 procedures done and I get so dang mad at how medical care makes you feel like you are stupid or just a number.

The first apt. was to an ear specialist to have my ears cleaned, (I have to have this done every few years it seems) Anyway I have crappy insurance at the present as I carry a policy from retirement from another state. There are no preferred providers now in my area. The Doctors are about all OWNED by the hospitals and the hospital that was on my provider list dropped my ins. co. So being an honest person when I filled out my papers for the apt. I listed my insurance since they do pay 50% for services not in network. After my 5 min. procedure. I was told I owed $170. And they do not bill out of network ins. So I asked if the $170 was the cash amount since I had to pay the full amount and she said no, it was the insurance rate and since I do have insurance they are required to charge that amount. So I gritted my teeth and paid her, then asked for a receipt and she said she couldn't do that. It came from the hospital billing dept!!! I couldn't believe it. I said, "you mean I write you a check and you can't give me a receipt??? I bet you hate your job." And she said yes she did hate her job. When I told my sister that she said that when her husband went in to this same office they paid $135 for office call and told them they didn't have insurance. Even though they did, but knew it would not cover the services. This is just plain nuts!

Then I went for my repeat mammogram, (they saw a dark spot 6 mo. ago so had a repeat) So after waiting after the procedure, the tech came in with a slip of paper that told me to come back in 6 mo for my routine annual exam that they didn't need to do the ultra sound this time. That's it! After I got in the car, I thought dang how impersonal! I feel that the radiologist could have taken 5 minutes to review things with me, like did it go away? or was there no change? So guess I will wait till the Dr. gets a report and go get a copy and see what was said. Oh, and I don't have a Dr. He left the facility in Feb. and I haven't seen the other Dr. And you guessed it, they are affiliated with the Hospital and not on a preferred list now. So I have to pay out of pocket and bill ins. myself to see if I can get the 50% back.

Please tell me it will be easier when I get on medicare! Husband has medicare and a supplemental and it seems to be working well, so far.

OK on the more humble side, I am thankful to have clean ears and to have an OK mammogram.

Thought for the day: Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

Spring, oh beautiful spring

This is a little bird house I made yesterday from an old gourd that I had saved for several years. And the dogwood tree in the back yard is in full bloom. Getting spring fever to work in the flower beds and go buy lots of plants. Just have limited space to plant. Been digging up around my little book store and moving some plants there. Guess its the old Iowa farmer in me! They won't laugh when I am harvesting my corn!

This next thing was posted on my FB by my niece and I like it so much that I put it here to share:

Dear Congress, Last year I mismanaged my funds and this year I cannot decide on a budget. Until I have come to a unified decision that fits all of my needs and interests, I will have to shut down my checkbook and will no longer be able to pay my taxes. I'm sure you'll understand. Thank you very much for setting an example we can all follow.

Ain't it the truth? Guess that will be my thought for the day, unless you want to hear me grip about medical stuff. No? Well next time for sure.

Copy, paste

> ABOUT AS GOOD AS IT GETS FOR ME!
>
>

> Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama
> meets a man with a
> beard. 'Are you Mohammed?' he asks. 'No my son, I am
> St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.' Peter then points to
> a ladder that rises into the clouds .
>
> Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter,
> Obama climbs the
> ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds
> and comes into a
> room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again,
> 'Are you Mohammed?'
>
>
> 'Why no he answers, I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still
> .'
>
> Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the
> ladder yet again,
> he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic
> looking man with a
>
>
> beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
> 'No, I am Jesus, the Christ...you will find Mohammed
> higher up. '
>
> Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can
> hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever
> higher. Once again, he reaches an even larger room
> where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with a
> silver white beard and once again repeats his question:
>
> "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is by now, totally
> out of breath from all his climbing. 'No, my son.... I
> am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look
> exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?"
>
> Obama says, "Yes please"! As God looks behind him, he
> claps his hands and yells out: "Hey Mohammed-two
> coffees!""
>
> Keep your trust in God...your president is an idiot...
>
>

Sweatin to the Oldies

Getting warm to early in the AM. Did my walk this morning and was rather sweaty when I got back. Dang I hate that! Sort of puts a new meaning to sweating to the oldies huh?

Hubby was able to ride the lawn mower yesterday and had all the front yard mowed by the time I got home. He is such a good hard working man. Guess I will keep him. Did I mention I built a planter in front of my store? Looks pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Already filled up with assorted plants from my home and from my sisters. I do one one that is questionable though. It was attached to some dutch Iris plants and looked so pretty I planted it all by itself. But now it is looking rather suspicious to me. Probably a weed. Will let it bloom and see. Maybe a pretty weed.

Daughter and significant other, (don't like that term, when it is much more than that) are at an ALS ralley today. Wish I could have been there to lend my support. Maybe next time. A terrible disease that needs stamped out!

Thought for the day: I know I got alot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill.

Aspire to Inspire

As I took my early morning walk in town this morning, (yes its spring and I have tried to start up again), I noticed many of the same buildings and such that I saw when I last walked in the fall, and I thought of how they looked a little more run down than before. Then I noticed that I was walking a little slower than I probably was last fall. Guess the winter has been hard on all things. But the tulips are blooming and grass growing, so it give me hope to pick up my step a little and find something to smile about.

Was anxious to get the paper this week and see my column that I did for April. Like I hadn't already read it 10 times before I sent it in. But there is just something about seeing it in print that makes you feel good.

The picture is of the huge Bradford Pear tree that was blooming a week ago in our front yard. Blooms all gone now but beautiful new green leaves. The mocking bird has found us along with the pair of brown thrush that I love to watch. The squirrels are driving us nuts. Such pigs! Then the ground hog has come out from under the tool shed and is chowing down on the green grass.

Took hubby to Dr. on Wed for his 4 week check up and an xray of his new knee. Beautiful. It is amazing what they can do and how well he as done in only 4 weeks. No cane most of the time and able to drive himself to his out patient PT. Next post I will put the pic on.

Thought for the day: I let go of resistance and accept this moment exactly as it is--Deepak Chopra

I need another hobby?

Got my April column turned in to the newspaper a week early. Funny thing, I have hit a dry spell for reading now when I have a purpose for it other than my own pleasure. I keep a sheet of note paper in the book I am reading so I can take notes! I am reading the Poisionwood Bible right now. Seems to be taking me forever to read it. I think it is a great book, it's just me right now. But I have a stack of books that I have read recently that I think will be good to do reviews on.

Could be that I have started way too many projects lately. I am making baskets, and really like the process. Then I decided to research and find some ideas to use all the denim that I have been saving. So have started making some tote bags, then actually bought a pattern to make bags.(what a shocker when I looked at patterns! They are up to 16$/$18 each) Plus I am trying to finish a counted cross stitch picture, so guess its no wonder I haven't been reading much. I will attach a pic of my big 10 inch bowel that I made the other day. Hope to get a bunch of stuff made for the Fall Festival this year. Plus the rugs that I weave. Oh, and I set up the loom to make narrow rugs that can be made into totes, plan to put lining in them. Whew, I am tired!

Plus I have been the chauffeur for everyone for the last 3 weeks. But hubby is allowed to drive now, at least the short distance to out patient therapy. He is working hard to get back to being his independent ornery self. Doing a pretty good job. His knee is healing up really well.

Thought for today: I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay check--Anonymous

Celtic Thunder - Steal Away (One more time)

If you get a blank screen, just click on it anyway and the video comes on.

I have been immersed in Celtic Thunder this week so have to share just one more song. What a beautiful song. I could only find this one with the QVC junk at the bottom but it appears to be fairly recent as Damian has grown up and seems to be the lead singer.

What a beautiful message it gives us. We all need to be able to steel away and start a new. I love their harmonizing. So I leave it here for the week.

Thought for the day: One advantage of growing old: Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember either.

Is this your cat?

I saw this today and knew I had to post it. I understand that my niece is taking her cat on walks now with a leash. Somehow that just seems so wrong to walk a cat on a leash. But then again I guess anything can be leash trained if you work at it long enough.

So Miss Niece, is this your cat??

Crazy Squirrels!

I have a new meaning to the words "pole dancing".

We have trouble with squirrels climbing our bird feeding station by climbing right up the pole then down the chain to the feeder. Wouldn't be so bad but then they chew on the feeder.

So being smarter than a squirrel, I figured if I greased the pole they couldn't climb up.

I happened to see one the first time I did it with spray Pam. He jumped up about 3 feet onto the pole then slid down. I wish I could have seen if he was shaking his paws, wondering what the heck just happened. LOL. But he was out of site behind the brick wall.

I now find that I have to scrub the pole about every 3 weeks with a degreaser as it collects dust and gets tacky and they are right back up the pole. I now use cooking oil and it works the best.

Oh, what we do for entertainment. Reminds me of when we lived on the farm and found that when we sprayed water on the propane tank in the evening the horse flys swarmed around and landed on the wet tank and we could swat them! At least we kept the population down from biting the horse.

Maybe its not just the squirrels that are nuts!

Thought for the day: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Look at me

OK now what is new with the book lady? I love this picture of the animals reading space. I wish I had room for something like this. Hey I would be happy if I had space for a coffee machine, and maybe a WiFi space, maybe some easy chairs. Oh, I got carried away there, sorry about that.

Lets see I haven't mentioned my hubby's recovery after his knee surg on the 8th of Mar. He is really doing very well. We have our ups and downs, but he is healing up nicely and will get his staples out next Wed. He uses a minimal amount of pain med, as the narcotic makes him dopey, and most of time he doesn't have much pain, till he goes to bed. So tylenol and ice packs do the trick most of the time. But it will all pass and he will be out mowing before long. Spring is upon us, and aren't we glad?

The other biggie in my life is that I am writing a column for the local paper doing book reviews of what ever I am reading. So it puts a little pressure on me to choose books that I think would be interesting to others. But then I think, what the heck, if I thought they were interesting enough to read myself then that should cut the mustard. I sent the editor a sample of some book reviews I wrote and he said he would give me a rather large space once a month to do 3 or 4 reviews. Wow, I didn't expect that at all. I was hoping for a tiny space for a few paragraphs once a week. I see it as free advertisement. Now if I can be witty enough to catch a few readers, we will see. Oh the pressure:)

Thought for the day: Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous

Maxine's Censored St. Patrick's Day Song (maxine.com)

Had to share this today!

Celtic Thunder - Caledonia

Another must share today. I enjoyed this group on PBS the other night. They are wonderful and so "beautiful" to watch, esp. in the kilts! Made me go to Amazon and order a couple CD's. I am such a push over!

What makes an "Old" blogger?

I sometimes wonder why we love to blog. Alot of the time I wonder why we do FB and whats with all the tweeting? We somehow want all the world to hear us and love us. So we try to write witty things that will get us some adoration. If no one read our blogs would we still write?

Good question. I know when I first started blogging in 2005, I did it as a private little journal thing. Then I started getting comments. Wow that was fun. Someone out there was reading my stuff. Then I gave my site out to all my family. Now that is a two edge sword. You start to sort of edit your words that you type cause you don't want to hurt someones feelings or reveal something that you might not want to share with family. But on the other hand there was several years there when alot of the extended family was blogging. It was so much fun to log on and see what everyone wrote or what their comments were on what I wrote.

Somewhere along the line many family members sort of fizzled out. I think when the FB got to be popular and then the Twitter thing. But gee I miss the stories! There was some good meat and potatoes there, not just little one sentence comment that we are supposed to get all excited about. Example: "Look out Texas!! Road Trip." Sorry daughter, just used you as an example. Now a blog post about the trip would be awesome!

So 6 years of blogging and I have no intention of stopping. I may get dry spells, but I still have alot to say. If I get comments I still get excited. But I can't help but wonder who all is actually reading all this. I have done a little blog surfing and boy there is so much stuff out there. What makes one more interesting than another for a stranger to follow? Of course I have a few that I follow, some I have stopped following because they get to whinny or to long winded. So on that note I better stop!!

Thought for the day: It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

Young Me up a tree

In writing the post yesterday I sort of traveled back in time and alot of memories from those days came flooding back. I will just randomly recall events from the time living in this house, in this little town.

As I mentioned, my dad was handicapped, but that didn't mean he was helpless. He always had a big garden and provided for us the best he could. Frequently he raised rabbits. I always said that its a wonder I didn't hop instead of walk. He got permission from someone to garden down near the river, which was just across the street a block from us. The soil was very sandy and he raised sweet potatoes and one year he raised peanuts. I don't remember to well how the process of boiling or roasting the peanuts went. He caught a snapping turtle once and was determined to get it out of the shell so mom could make us turtle soup. I remember the turtle but not the soup. Probably a good thing.

Another time I was playing dress up with some old discarded high heels and had been marching around for some time. When I took them off there was a huge spider sitting on my toes! Yikes! He could have bitten me but guess he had room and just waited for me to get my foot out of his home.

We played with a couple girls down the street. They were "rich" by our standards. (They already had walking dolls.) But as kids it didn't seem to matter much. At dusk we would play under the only street light and throw things in the air to coax the bats to swoop down. We played along the river, always trying to find stuff.

During the winter when the river froze over, the "rich" friends would go out on their pretty white ice skates. Their dad would go with them and if snow was on the ice he would scoop it off to make a big circle. The guy that we rented from gave us an old old pair of brown men's skates. With a few layers of socks I was able to get out on the ice and actually learned to skate a little.

One memory that I will end with is a favorite of my mother. As I mentioned we didn't have electricity but she would read to us. Back then books like The Bobsy Twins, Big Red, Old Yeller, and Black Beauty were published in what was called Big Golden Books. I have a vivid memory of leaning over Mom's shoulder as she was reading one and having tears fall down onto her shoulder because it was a really sad part.

Thought for the day: Always be yourself, because the people that matter, don't mind. And the ones that mind, don't matter.

Long, long ago

Decided I would find old pictures in my albums and write a little about them as I remember.
This picture is of myself taken back when I was about 7. As you can see I am proudly holding onto a doll. There is a long story about this doll and about where I lived.

Well like many folks we were quite poor when I was growing up. My dad was handicapped from polio and by the time I was this age he would have been in his late 40's at least and unable to work anymore. We lived on ADC, which is Aid for Dependant Children in the state of Iowa.
We moved around a lot, sometimes twice in the same school year. At this time we lived in a tiny little town in SE Iowa. The little cottage had no electricity or running water. This is my last memory of using kerosene lamps in the evening. Don't know what Mom cooked on.

My little brother and I pretty much ran loose and since it was a very small town, like 50 people, I think we got acquainted with most of them. There was this old man, his name was Walter, that lived up the street from us. He didn't have electricity either and was an old bachelor. My brother and I would hang out at his house as he gave us some attention that I am sure we were craving. By today's standards this would have all been a big red flag if you know what I mean.

Walter loved kids. When we visited him, he would tell us stories and warn us to not go past his living room as he had a big black snake that lived under his bed so he didn't have to worry about mice. I sort of think this was true. We would sit and help him pick walnut meats out and he fed them to the birds (what we didn't eat). He would tack his old pancakes to the tree for the birds to eat also.

One day, I don't remember now if it was for Christmas or my birthday, he gave me this doll that he ordered. She is a walking doll. I think it cost around 18$. Which was a lot for him to spend on some rag tag little girl up the street. He was just a very nice old man who loved kids. It made me feel special probably for the first time in my life. Later on we moved away from there and I didn't see Walter till I was as teenager. I ran into him at the little country store in that same town. See we were living across the river at that time in another rental house. He remembered me, but it felt strange to talk to him by then. Years later I heard that he died in a house fire at a really old age. It made me feel sad.

Recently I got this old doll out of the trunk, washed her hair and pin curled it, and washed her cloths. Think I will take it to my store and sit her on the shelf. She brings back a lot of memories and all of them good. I have some more to tell about living at this house so maybe next week I will do this again.

Thought for the day: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt

A fixer-upper? Or fire up the cat?

Last fall when I was doing my morning walks here in the little town where I have my book store I took some pictures of some of the towns decay.

As you can see, someone had good intentions and started putting siding on this house and at some point decided it wasn't worth it or else the load of used siding that a friend gave them just ran out. Who knows. It is sad to see so many old houses like this that just need to be dozed in.

But if you could know their history and the families that lived in them from the time they were new and what was the story on how they became so run down that they were abandoned, wouldn't it be interesting.

I do know about the first picture. Way back many years ago it was the hospital here. When I lived in this area the first time back in the 70's it was still open and I remember going to the Dr. there during clinic hours and asked him to pierce my ears and he sort of ran me off, telling me that he had sick people to see and didn't do piercings. Gee all I wanted was to get holes popped into my ear lobes in a sterile setting. At least they didn't charge me for the office call. I think I had a friend do it for me later. I understand that some folks have owned the building for a few years and are living in the back of it and have been putting in new windows. Boy if that building could talk!

Thought for the day: A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory

Hooked on Creamers

Just found a new coffee creamer that actually has real milk and cream as primary ingredient and the flavor I got, Vanilla Carmel is wonderful. It is by Coffee House. The Coffee Mate I have used for along time has a list of ingredients a mile long. Think I will try the chocolate next, love chocolate in my coffee.

Thought for today: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

At least one hand is warm

Just realized why when I am playing on my computer (mostly using the mouse) my right hand gets so cold and the left is warm.

Well the room is quite cool, as my Internet is at my little store and this corner doesn't get the heat very well. So that is why the right hand is cold. Oh, and feet too. But the left hand is warmer because I noticed that I tend to put it under my left thigh if I am just mousing around. Like when I play my daily dose of Spider Solitaire. Guess I am sort of hooked on it. Did play regular solitaire yesterday till I finally won for the first time. That one is hard to win, you can't cheat with the computer!

Thought for the day: If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Just a little BS on my brain today

Just hear a commercial on the radio, telling you that when you get your tax return to spend it on something you really need and will make you happy. A quick and easy divorce. I couldn't believe I heard it. Wow we can sell anything can't we?

Really raining today, probably be several inches when it is done. At least it is washing away all that crap left by the snow plow in front of my store. Oh, and gas jumped from 2.92 to 3.19 in one day.

Sitting here at my computer I can look into a little book case that I put books that I take in from customers that I think I want to read. Here are some titles:

Foreign Body by Robin Cook

The Ice Child by Elizabeth McGregor

The Man in the Iron Mask by Alexqandre Dumes

Sunday at Tiffany's by James Pattersdon

The Loch by Steve Alten

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

The Fields of Eden by Richard Wheeler

Songs in Ordinary Time by Mary McGarry Morris

OK that is probably boring enough. Better stop and go back to my weaving. Got a good rug going with browns and a bright green and some yellow.

Thought for the day: Dreams are poems from the subconscious

This ones for my girl

When I was just short of turning 21 my daughter was born. We were talking the other day and I realized that everyone should know about their birth. I always just heard I was born in a blizzard and like all the kids in my family was born at home. And thats about all I know.

I got married at 17 so that I wouldn't have to move clear across the country with my parents. When I was 19 my son was born. When he was just a toddler we decided he was so darn cute we should have another one. When I was about 5 or 6 mo. pregnant we moved out to the east coast to live near my parents and my big brother.

We were able to rent a little one bedroom cottage in a trailer park. I remember getting my first washing machine (ringer type) while there. We had a small dirt yard that was level with the doorway, so with a little guy coming in and out it was hard to keep the dust down. I worked a little as a grocery clerk just up the road for a month or so.

When I started labor we headed to the hospital, think we must have taken the son to my Moms. I remember it was raining. I was to experience a very different delivery than when my son was born in a little county hospital. I was in a very large City hospital. They delivered several babies a day. I remember I was progressing slow so they started a pit drip to make it more painful, (or was it to just make the contractions work better?) Any way back in those days they thought that you had to stay flat on your back or it wasn't effective. Being a labor and delivery nurse many years later myself I learned that was all a bunch of hooey! Anyway they kept coming in and making me turn back. I labored all day and somewhere around 7pm was delivered of a 7 lb 3 0z. baby girl via forceps! Here I am a good size healthy 20 year old and couldn't spit out a little 7 # baby! In hind sight I know know that she was turned face up and that was why I had so much back pain and the need for the forceps.

Back then you had to stay in the hospital for 2 or 3 days at least. I was breast feeding so when they would bring the babies down the hall to give to the Mamas they had a big cart on wheels. No rooming in back then. We have told the story of how the babies were in these little bins on the cart and sadly we teased our daughter that maybe they got babies mixed up. Little did I know that her brother took up on this and she lived in fear that maybe she didn't belong to us! Well they were ID'd with wrist bands and I have no doubt. But they really did look like vegetable carts to me!

So we took her home and big brother got moved out of the baby crib and put into a little cot so the new baby had a bed. Lucky that we were able to move into a large house a few months later. The picture posted here is of my daughter and I way back then, standing in front of that house with our matching dresses that I made.

Thought for the day: You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Everyone loses

I hear some sad stories from my customers. Had a guy in today that I see every few weeks. He usually is looking for books for his grandson who is now 12. He was telling me how his grandson is being raised and it makes you wonder how he will turn out. I guess he lives one week with his dad and one week with his mother. His dad is "shacking up"(grandpa's words) with a gal and lives in a converted garage at grandpa's house. The mother works and is in a band. The grandpa is the one who takes the boy to school everyday and picks him up, buys all his cloths and school lunches, but has no custodial rights. So some days the boy doesn't know for sure where he is supposed to sleep as the mom may be out really late with band practice. So he ends up just being a pawn being shuffled from here to there. Grandpa says he is starting to see some acting out, (surprise!) Grandpa is 65 and says he is retired now and would like to look at getting out and traveling but feels he needs to be there for this kid. He would like to have him full time and I think wash his hands of the 40+ year old son. Looks like there is only losers in this story.

Thought for the day: If you can't be a good example- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

All the snow and ice that we have had this month makes me think of the times when I was growing up that we made ice cream, but only in the winter.

During the time that I was about 9 to 12 we lived on a farm in Iowa. We didn't have much, not even an ice cream churn. But one winter the neighbor loaned theirs to us for the whole winter. Dad would chop blocks of ice from the pond, put them in a gunny sack and smash them with the side of a flat ax to break the ice up into small pieces.

Dad was milking a couple goats for the milk that was to help heal his ulcers. So now we have free milk and free ice, and a free ice cream churn. All we need to buy was the course salt. When the milk with sugar and vanilla was put in the steel cylinder, the crushed ice was put around it and the salt sprinkled liberally into the salt. This makes the ice start to melt and is colder. So as the handle is cranked (we all got a turn at this) to turn the cylinder around and around the cold starts to freeze the milk. Walla you get ice cream. What made it the best was that when it was close to being set up we would open the container and add some of Mom's home canned blackberries. I especially liked this as I always thought I could smell goat in the milk!

Our weekly churning of home made ice cream was a real treat for us that winter. I have many memories of the time that we lived there. We moved around so often that to be in one home for 3 or 4 years seemed like a "really" home. I made many trips up the hill on that gravel road to visit those neighbors. Her name was Ethel and I am sure she was a big influence on me and probably never knew.

Thought for the day: The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts

Don't mess with me

Ever notice how in the winter time our days seem so repetitious? Seems like you do the same thing every day and the days seem to run together. Guess I have been going a little stir crazy being stuck at home for almost 2 weeks after this big blizzard hit. It makes you lose track of what day it is if you don't have to go anywhere. Alot of businesses lost money for sure.

Hopefully you can click on the pic and see the caption. If not the first one says: I'm a broccoli and I look like a tree. The second one says: I'm a walnut and I look like a brain. The last one says: I'm a mushroom and I am sick of playing this game.

I just got back into my book store this past Wed. but since I am located on the highway you can imagine what the state left for me all along the highway in front, where customers park. Things are melting and there is an area to park across the alley but then you have to still walk in the slushy snow. We set record lows, and now we will see some record highs, I think for this coming week. Good by snow and ice.

Had a customer in a couple weeks ago that is a farm person. She is single and she was telling me about a new boy friend and about this big sign she has at her home, sort of a warning. So she gives me my Thought for the day:

Don't mess with me, I've castrated everything on this farm!

Looking out my kitchen window

This was taken on the 2nd of Feb. Day after the blizzard. We used the snow blower to take the snow off the deck. At least 12 in. plus drifting off the roof. So glad it is warming up and will be up in the 60's by next Wed. Think we got all our snow within the first 2 weeks of Feb. Got additional 6 in. a few days after this one.

So looking at books that I want to read. When customers bring books in to trade, they always tell me which ones were good. So I end up with this stack of books that just get bigger and bigger. Just finished The Dollmaker by Harriette Arnow, which was verrrrrry good but took awhile to read. Seems like I have been reading alot of historical tragic books lately..This one about a lady displaced from her home in Kentucky in the early 40's so her husband could work the steel mills in Detroit. Wow what a story. I just looked it up on the net and found that when it was made into a movie in 1984 Jane Fonda played the role of the main character. I just can't see her in that person that I got to know in the book. Maybe I can find the movie one day.

But I got distracted, I want to list the ones I plan to read soon:

The Ice Child by Elizabeth McGregor

The Other by David Guterson

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxcy by Douglas Adams

Intervetion by Robin Cook

Jewel by Bret Lott

The Man in The Iron Mask by Alexandre Dumas

The Lucky one by Nicholas Sparks

and the one I just started: The Time Travlers wife by Audrey Niffenegger. That all should keep me busy for awhile.

Almost forgot I was going to re-read an 8 book series by Diana Garbaldon. Oh, so many books so little time

Thought for the day: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step:
Confucious

Namaste!

Ever feel like a slug?

That's the way I feel this winter. Other than reading and some needlepoint I feel like I have accomplished very little. Whats with this? I think this health care fiasco that is going on it getting me a little down. I thought that most of it was't supposed to go into effect for a couple years. Well my insurance has sure made some major changes. Without being notified they canceled my preferred provider (or prob. my preferred provider hospital canceled) So my primary Dr. is part of the hospital. So after several calls to my ins co. they have made an exception on the record for me to have my local hosp be my preferred provider X 6 mo only and only for out pt services! That would cover my colonoscopy coming up and mammogram. Not my Dr. if I go to him for any apt. I pay half of his going rate. no co pay. They indicated that there would be a change in July to a different 3rd party payer so more changes.

Got a letter from my insurance co. (which is thru a state I don't live in) They outlined new changes for this next year to start in July. Big raise in deductible from 800 to 2,000$. No dental coverage except for cleaning. No eye coverage except for part of the exam. (just got that done and new glasses ordered) Plus other major changes that I won't bore anyone with. I look for them to figure out a way to cancel out folks that do not live within the state too.

So it is depressing and a worry. I only hope that my tests come back OK this winter then I can hold out and not need any care till Feb 2012 when I will be old enough for medicare. Lets hope they don't do huge changes there, but what are the odds.

OK I am done gripping.

Won't spring be a blessing.

Thought for the day: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

What to cataracs and cavaties have in common?

ME! Just found out Mon. that I have very early stages of cataracts forming, then this morning had my teeth cleaned and found I had a piece of a filling missing so I have to have it repaired!! Feel like I am falling apart. LOL
Guess what I get for my birthday next week? A colonoscopy!

Guess what hubby gets for his Mar. birthday? A new knee!

Does that seem fair??

Oh, I do get new glasses as my old ones are falling apart so guess that is a good thing.


Thought for the day: I think Ive got alot of work to do, I'm far from being finished.

Big Brother is Watching

You know we are being watched all the time?  I just posted a blog and the word in it was carb, and as I clicked to publish a screen came up with advertisements that had the name carb in it. Thank you very much Google.  Scary huh?

Can carbs make you crazy?

After the last couple days I am beginning to think this may be true.  When I eat very low carb I feel so good, more energy, and better outlook on life.  When I "fall off the wagon" so to speak, I feel more like a slug.  And I am not talking about binging on carbs.  Just the "normal" amount that would be in regular meals. I think I am doomed to never eating bread or deserts ever, ever, ever!  See I even sound crazy! Had a cute picture to add to this but for some reason this new "update" the blogger site just did is not letting me add it in. Grrr.

Thought for the day:  I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

Pictures and memories

I had mentioned a week ago that I thought it would be fun to take a collage of pictures and briefly tell about each one. All these pictures were taken in the 70's, and maybe you will see yourself if some of them.
1. Brother was visiting us in Iowa and caught this nice big bass from the farm pond.  He looked so young with all that hair.
2. Dtr. dressed for Halloween with her bibs, kerchief, and straw hat.  As a prop she was holding one of our baby pigs.  Wonder if it was "Miss Piggy" that we bottle fed.
3. 5 little kids standing in front of our old yellow Rambler station wagon, taken in Portsmouth Va. Both my kids and 3 cousins. They were so cute.  I remember the wagon was the first car I drove. Didn't get my drivers license till about the time of this pic.
4. Mrs. Johnson putting my first nursing cap on at the LPN capping ceremony. I had no idea then where my nursing career would take me.
5. Mom out at the farm in Ia. dressed in the blue polyester jump suit that I made for her.
6.Son on his first motor cycle. I remember riding it once and tried to kill a snake in the road, but when I hit the brake the bike spun sideways and I wiped out.  Would have served me right to land on the snake!
7.Son and Dtr, sitting on the roof of the pump house at the Mo. farm.
8. Dtr. holding our little dog Goldie in her lap.  Taken in Ia. What a good little dog.
9. Dtr. in her cheerleaders outfit for Jr. High.
10. Brother and his family during happy times on a visit to the beach.  His youngest was just a baby.
11. The 3 sisters, us. Sitting on a sofa at middle sisters home. This was the first trip that I ever took by myself about age 33.  Didn't know till later that husband was glad to let me take a trip as he had hanky panky going on.

So that's my photo collage.

Thought for the day:  Don't buy cheap drain cleaner!

Here's your sign

If a cluttered desk is signs of a cluttered mind,

of what, then, is an empty desk?

Albert Einstein

Was life more interesting a few years ago?

I was just messing around and went back to my old blog posting in 2006 and reading. It seems like alot more was going on back then, it even seems interesting, but did I know it at the time? I guess its like looking back to the "good old days" and not realizing that we are living the good old days every day. When I look back in 6 years I will think that 2010 was an interesting year, I suppose.

After the tragedy in Arizona this past week, it has to make us realize that no one has been promised any certain number of days to our lives. We need to look around and smile more at what we see. We need to see the positive stuff and not focus on all the negative that surrounds us each day.

I live with the negative every day. Sad to say but hubby and his sister seem to relish the bad news and bad predictions. SIL sort of tickles me as she complains daily about all the junk mailings she gets. Most are political stuff and of course they all want money. If she gets an envelope with a nickle (sometimes a dollar) in it. She always mails it back. It just keeps her name active and I think she thinks someone personally opens it and is grateful to her. She means well and it gives her something to do. Well how did I get off on this track??

See I was trying to write a positive post and this negative stuff just snuck in there. Oh, and in Oct 2006 I was complaining about gas being 1.99$ a gal.

Thought for the day: We reap what we sow

trouble sleeping

Had trouble getting to sleep last nite, then woke up around 3AM and felt like I just dozed off and on the rest of the nite. I laid there and heard the forced heat coming on and it brought a memory to me that I think of once in awhile.

When I was about 11 or 12, I lived in Iowa and my oldest brother took me home for the weekend to Iowa City. He was building a house and I got to be his helper. I remember feeling pretty important. I got to fetch stuff for him and poke duct pipe under the house to him. That night I remember he and his wife and myself slept in what I think was going to be the utility room on pallets on the floor and I could hear the heat come on and feel the warm air. I think this was the first time I had slept in a house with anything but wood heat.

Now wood heat, there is another story, I remember waking up every morning and hearing my dad "shake" down the stove. For those that don't know, that is the process of using a crank to shake the grates so that excess ash falls below to a tray to be carried out and more wood or coal could be added to build up the fire. I remember sometimes that stove was so hot it glowed red.

Remember these good old days, big brother?

Thought for the day: When you are depressed it helps to lean your head on your arm and stare into space---if you are unusually depressed, you may have to change arms.

My challenge to you

Just for fun, I challenge you (whoever you are) to do something.

I am sure most folks have one of those collage picture frames of photos that you arranged to hang on the wall. I have a couple of them. One from around the 70's. I thought it would be fun to sit down with it and describe the picture, no names, and write briefly about what that picture meant to you or what was significant about it. It hangs on the wall where ever I go and has about 10 pictures in it.

See you next week

Thought for the day: I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

OK so its the scarf that won

Last night I picked up a scarf that I started to knit last winter, I think. So I figured I could knit thru the commercials on TV. Have you noticed how there is more time dedicated to commercials than programs? Heck before I knew it I had knitted 2 feet!

Thought for the day: Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep.

Time on my hands

Lazy long weekend. I actually watched 3 football games with hubby and neither one of us usually watch them much. Worked on my counted cross stitch project pretty steady and have it done. Now what will I do with these hands. Looking thru my projects stuff and have:

1. books on covering baskets, have 2 little sewing baskets that need redone.

2. decoupage something, I have stuff already cut out.

3. finish knitting the scarf thats been in the basket a year.

4. crochet some baskets to sell

5. weave more rugs, but can only do that at the store

6. start another cross stitch project.

7. Maybe I'll just start another book

Thought for the day: No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

My book report

What has the book lady read this year? Well I have been keeping track of my reading in a little notebook and have read a grand total of 70 books this year. So here is what I read:

5 Dean Koontz books, they are usually just for a distraction for me from more serious reading, oh, and for the treadmill reading.
I read most of Janet Evonovich's Stephanie Plum books. I don't usually read much mystery but she is a hoot.
I say I don't read mystery but I see that I read several of Jeffery Deavers, Kathy Reichs, and Tess Garrison.
Some of my favorite reading for the year were: Ken Follett's A Dangerous Fortune, and World Without End and A Place Called Freedom. I enjoyed, Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski , Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, A walk to Remember, & The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks.

Just finished The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk, a Utopian novel and Not Between Brothers, a book about Texas and its rise to statehood, a very good book. I enjoyed Bridges of Madison County enough to watch the movie again.

Plans for the new year: I would like to re-read my favorite series by Diane Gabaldin. (7 big books) The Outlander Series. Historical romance of a woman who is transported back 100 years to live in Scotland. Awesome series. Plus I have at least 10 waiting for me. Just like old friends. I could easily live without TV, but don't take my books!

Thought for the day: If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

Is it just me?

Christmas is over so guess I can stop feeling grouchy and get my act together to start the new year with some zip and a new attitude.

I was coming back home after visiting someone near and dear to my heart and it suddenly dawned on me how we waste so much of our time moaning over little hurts and slights that maybe others didn't even know existed for us. Our own mind can make things so much bigger than they are. I think I find that often from trying to "read my husbands mind". I feel hurt when I don't really know what he is thinking or not thinking as the case may be.

And what a waste of time all this is. You don't know this stuff when you are young. You are ready to do battle to prove YOU are right come hell or high water. I like the saying: "Pick your battles." Now my mantra is "Let it go" Just take a deep breath and let it go.

Another mantra I like is "Its not about ME" And so often that is so true. Others carry burdens we don't know about and when we feel slighted we magnify it often and don't even try to put ourselves in that other person's shoes. We are all made up of our own life experiences and no one else really truly can know someone Else's reality. We are each very unique.

Life is short or at least as we know it in this time/space. We shouldn't waste it our time, the clock really is ticking.

Thought for the day: It's not about Me

Getting REAL

I meet the nicest people in my store. And if you listen they tell you all kinds of things. Guess we always look for someone to just listen to what we have to say. (maybe that's why so many people blog) A gal was in last week and found a book on the shelf and was so excited. It was The Velveteen Rabbit. She said it has so many lessons for life in it and when she got home she would e-mail back the quote from it. I really liked it so want to share it here:

"You 'BECOME' the horse said to the rabbit. 'It doesn't happen all at once. It takes a very long time. Generally by the time you are REAL most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter, because you are real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.' "

Thought for the day: Listen to your friends

web site to read the little book. http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html

Car commercial

A couple comes running out of the house, hand in hand, very excited, then they see the car in the driveway with a huge red bow on top. They jump in and seem so thrilled to have a new car, like they can't believe their good luck. Then they look up and see a new Buick driving by and they look at each other and their smiles fade away and they seem so disappointed with "their" new car. Like someone just burst their bubble.

What the heck kind of commercial is that?? Are we so materialistic that we could buy into that kind of propaganda?

Thought for the day: Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift

Winter Blahs

I promised a new friend I would attempt to do a post about winter. So this is my personal opinion and no one elses.

As most people who know me very well know, I do not enjoy the Christmas holiday. It sort of goes way back for me to my "previous" life. I remember how we celebrated Christmas as a family and now that that "family" is no more, at least as it was back then, I always get the Christmas blues. I think others feel that way too. I know that is not the true meaning of Christmas so I try to just get beyond that and look forward to the new year. (maybe this should have been the Christmas Grinch post instead of Winter blahs) But I will forge ahead.

So winter has the cold, snow, sleet, slick roads, and cold feet. The landscape looks miserable, cold, no leaves, naked trees shivering in the cold. Even the air looks unhappy, gray and cold. So what is the good that I should be able to see and enjoy about winter??

Well lets see. It is a time to put on warm cozy socks and sweaters that I couldn't wear all summer. Time to enjoy the fireplace, (I am lucky enough to have one). Time to get together with family and friends. Time to maybe reflect on the year and make plans for the coming year.

So maybe winter should be seen as a time of slumber before the awakening of spring. A time for the landscape to rest and regenerate itself for burst of green and color to come.

Maybe we should look at our lives the same way and look forward to the new year and spring to come. Maybe ponder some of our past mistakes and look for ways to make life richer and show those we love what they mean to us.

Thought for the day: Experience is what you learn just after you need it.

Gonna be a Bear

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth you children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Thought for the day: Familys are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts!

Love your pet

http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/J_S.html If you have time go to this site and listen to Jimmy Stewart read his poem about his dog named Bo. Just click on the site listed and it will take you there.

I mention this today as it was sent to me yesterday and just by chance we had an incident that made this very appropriate.

Hubby had to take his sister and her little dog to the vet yesterday late, it was the 3rd trip this past week. End result was that he had to be put to sleep. This is her second dog to lose this year. The sister dog died in July. And of course a year ago we had our dog put to sleep so we are a dogless home now. No more dogs for us. It is too hard to lose them.

So I hope you will watch this little video and if you have a pet, give them an extra ration of love and that "pat on the head" while they are still there.

Thought for the day: Sometimes we find answers when we didn't even know we were looking.

OK you lurkers!

How do you like my redo on my blog site? And I have a counter on it so I know how many times someone checks me out. I made it easier to leave comments or at least a check box to indicate you thought it was interesting.

Project for the next couple weeks: transfer 3 boxes of floppy disc photos to the computer then compile them in some order and transfer to disc. Will this be sort of like getting all the photos out of the shoe box and putting them in an album? I still have the big plastic box full of about 10 years worth of pictures before I went to digital.

So you lurkers out there and you know who you are, leave a little message if you have time.

Thought for the day: What is remembered lives

Nursing Home?

Double click on this picture so you can read the words. I cracked me up when I got this. As I used to work in a prison I see the logic here.

Are my nails to long?

I saw a lady in the store the other day with these VERY long fingernails. Like the right hand they were 3 inches long and the left they were at least 6 or 7 inches long.

Now I am thinking, how does she wipe her butt!

Then a little voice had to pipe up and say:


Vaweeeee carefully

Whats in my ear as I walk?

My cheeks are nice and cold and rosy from my walk this morning. Did about 2 miles, sunny and cold out. Going to get a cold front come in tonight so will probably have to hit the tread mill. Have a good Dean Koontz book hanging on it, it helps me keep going.

I enjoy my I-pod while I am walking. I probably don't listen to jazzy music like I should. My walk isn't always about burning calories, usually more about my inspiration for the day. I still love my Enya music. I feel nice and mellow and enjoy the birds and squirrels as I walk. Saw a tree full of cedar waxwings this morning eating some kind of berries in a big tree. They used to come into the farm in the late summer and gobble up the mulberries.

Thought for the day: You always feel like you have lost weight after you have worn the same pair of jeans about 6 days!

OK, just one more!

I wasn't going to do this but again I had a dream and have to put this one down here. Hey does everyone dream? Hubby says he rarely does. I just can't imagine as I dream every night.

Anyway the dream: I was in a large room with desks and people working. Next to me was a gal that I used to work with named Lisa and I was going over some Dr. orders to process (yea, I'm an old nurse) when I looked over and saw a guy sitting on a chair and he stood up to come toward me. I thought he looked familiar then realized he was my husband but was much younger than when I met him. He was wearing a cream colored corduroy 3 piece suit.
Then the dream sort of rambled on and I don't remember much of it.

When I came into the kitchen later I asked my hubby if he ever owned such a suit and he said yes he did but it was alot of years ago. I got goose bumps!

Thought for the day: I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

The Hands of God?

OK I promise not to make this blog a place to recite all my dreams, and I don't intend to offend any ones personal beliefs. But since this is MY blog I guess I can say what I want, right?

I wrote down what I could remember of this dream yesterday. It was amazing and it all seemed so clear.

I dreamed that I was standing somewhere and suddenly everything around me sort of folded in on itself till there was nothing left. Then I saw that there were several "worlds" and I was looking down on them and was able to see and "know" that the smaller dense world was Hell and that as the worlds extended outward they became larger and lighter and almost seemed to float in their light. I realized that the different worlds were a way for me to understand that when we die we move up or down in these worlds to live new lives. Nothing is lost or wasted. As we progress in our evolution toward God we get lighter. We choose to go forward or backward with each rebirth so that we can learn what ever it is we still need to learn to be able to get closer to God.

I think it was in a book I read by Echart Tolle: A New Earth, that he wrote that heaven or hell will be for each of us what we believe it will be. Each religion has a different view and that each will have what they believe. That sort of makes sense to me because I really hate it when people think that their religion is the only one that is correct with God, and so everyone else will be just skipping off to hell.

Thought for the day: Do you think that maybe our dreams are the real world and that our "real" world is only a dream?