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Friday, June 15, 2012


I just had an interesting "person" in my shop.  "He" goes by the name Anna and is in early 60's.  Somehow in our conversation it came out of him that he is a transgender.  Was married for 30 some years and has at least one son that he mentioned.  From here on I guess I should say her.  She has written the manuscript for a book if she could find a way to publish it.  She mentioned how hard it was growing up with parents that didn't understand and she didn't understand herself why she felt like she did.  Her father would beat her and tell her she was a boy and better start acting like one.  So as a young man he married to prove the was a man.  When he finally "came out" just a few years ago, she decided that they should divorce.  Her wife said she always thought that maybe "he" just didn't love her and in truth she/he did but not in the right way.
The big dilemma is that this person has had so many things happen that just leaves her practically homeless.  I sent her to someone I thought might help at least in the short term and she has some things in the works to get back on some medical care.  She has been on hormone therapy for several years.
This is the second time she has been in the shop and I sort of felt this about her the first time I met her.
I loaned her a book that I read this past winter called "Middle Sex"  Which was the name of the town in New York where the story took place but also it was about a girl who was born with sex organs of both male and female. The male part being very small.  At about 14 her family was going to have her surgically altered to be a girl but she felt she was a boy and always had.  Anyway it was a good book, written in his words of what it was like growing up and then running away to find his own way as a man.
So I just wanted to write about this person.  I can't imagine what it must be like to be trapped in a body that is not who you perceive yourself to be.  What a tragedy,  she told me many times these folks end in suicide because they are so misunderstood. Then on top of all that to be in poor health, and living day by day.

There but by the grace of God go I.


Coffeypot said...

I agree that it has to be madining. I also thing people with MS or MD, who have a perfectly rational and thinking brain but the body won't work has to be just as frustrating. I guess we are lucky to be who we are, though I truly believe I am Tom Selleck in a Barny Fife body.

MadCityMike said...

Rare and especially nice to see someone writing about this sensitive human story in a personal outlet, rather than a political one. I applaud you for doing so and appreciate your candor and empathy. Not everyone has personal knowledge or experience in so many "issues", but form opinions based on hearsay or fear. Thank you for being so insightful........