This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I think I mentioned that I had to sign up with a different staffing agency, since the state's right hand didn't know that the left hand wasn't using the one that they had me sign up with a couple mo. ago. So here it is now almost Aug. The suspense is that when I did the lengthy paper work for this new agency (which is 250 miles away BTW) I had to do a 15 question nursing test. Can you believe I missed one too many questions to pass. They had about half of the questions about IV drip rates and calculating drug doses in mg. per kg. Haven't done any of that stuff for so many years! And any books I have left were of minimal help. Well they e-mailed me a second test and I was very careful to double check every question and only had 2 that I wasn't positive about. So today I will get the results, then I am headed to my niece's house on Sun to have a short visit as she is about 50 miles from the agency. And on Mon. will do my 2 hrs orientation with them, and do another drug screen test. Boy you would think I was applying for some high security job. Oh, I guess it sort of is. LOL

I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.

We still sleep light at night because we are listening for Molly. Like when you have a baby in the house you hear their sounds. She frequently had to go out in the middle of the night. So now we still listen for her. Had pizza out yesterday and "almost" brought home a piece of crust for her. She always expected some little tidbit when we ate out.

We have all her "bunnies" and dog beds washed and gathered up any left over dog food, biscuits, leashes, collars, and brushes. Found a animal shelter down by where we go fish so plan to take the stuff down there the first of the week.

So we are on the mend and can talk and laugh about her now and not get to teary eyed. She won't be forgotten, that's for sure. We also just realized that we have no guard dog now.

Thought for the day: Life truly is short and we need to enjoy and appreciate what we have.

Who will remind me to go fetch the mail?

We had to put our faithful dog Molly to sleep yesterday. She lived with some health issues and in the last year had been loosing so much muscle in her hips and hind legs. She had developed "fatty" tumors in numerous sites, the worse being on her chest, and flank. On Sunday she tried to chase a cat that was sitting on the back fence and she pulled or tore something in one hind leg. As a result she was trying to walk on 3 legs, and with one of them weak she just couldn't manage. We had to use a towel to help her walk and she would just lay and look at us with those intelligent eyes, like she was asking use to help her.

It is so sad when the mind is still so sharp and smart but the rear end fails. So at nearly 13 we just had to do what was right and let her go. We soothed her while the vet did the injection and it was over so quick and she is at peace now and no more pain. I know she has suffered for some time and we had agreed along time ago we would not let her suffer when the time came.

She was the best dog ever, even if others may not have seen it, as she was not very friendly to others, but that was our fault and not hers. She was so smart that we had taken to spelling things and sometimes she figured that out too. She would mind us so well, we could let her out anywhere with no leash and she would obey us with verbal and hand signs to stay where we would tell her.

What I will miss most was her total devotion to us. Her vocal Woooo Woooo greeting when we would come in the door. She trusted us and loved us unconditionally, and you can't ask any more than that from your dog. I have only seen my husband cry twice, once when he was in acute pain with a kidney stone and yesterday after we came home to an empty house.

We have agreed that there will be no more dogs, at our age, we don't want to be tied down with that responsibility again. We have had 2 good dogs, I was counting up and we have had a dog in our lives for a total of 24 of the 27 years we have been together. Thats alot.

Glory Be

Can't believe I am finally getting the 1 day training I needed at the prison before I could start nursing orientation. It is a sort of crash course in how be behave in a prison ect. Since I won't be an actual state employee I have to have this. I will be working thru a staffing agency.

Which is another long story. I talked to the D.O.N. earlier in the week and sort of reminded her that I put my application in the end of March, I signed on with a staffing agency that she suggested, which made me purchace liability ins. and get a drug screening at my expense. And she keeps stringing me along with this training thing that had to be scheduled. Anyway she told me this week that the state wasn't using that agency now and I would have to apply thru an agency across the state in the big city. So now I got my packet, have to get a physical (Mon) and get this all sent back, then go to a city in NE part of state on Aug, 3 to do orientation with them. Then >>>>>>> I will be ready to actually work and earn some money!!

Makes your head swim but at least I am swimming upstream.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

OK the rest of the story on our housing development. Rick who is the sales person has told us that they won't be able to start up our home owners association till a certain % of the homes are built. Guess we aren't there yet, In the mean time folks are supposed to pay their dues to the head office. This company has housing developments in several cities around here, 3 in our city. So the money goes in their pot. We can't govern ourselves. Also since they aren't building more homes there are alot of lots growing up in weeds. Alot of home owners are angry as it makes the complex look bad. The only thing they maintain is a strip of lawn as you come into our area on one end and the weeds in a rock area that has some shrubs there. After alot of phone calls from folks, last mo. they came in and sort of mowed the weeds in the vacant lots but not very short due to all the large rocks.

Many of us think we will hold out when dues are to be paid this coming year. Wonder how that will fly?

When you get Mad should you get Even?

Our builder/Realtor took us for a little ride recently, and I am still steaming.
We closed on our home on Dec 30. Last week we got a delinquent notice for 2008 property taxes. Seems the first notice went to the builder. Somewhere along the line, they paid the 07 taxes of less than 60$(was on our closing) as the property was bare dirt then. No where did it mention who owed the 08 taxes. Seems that WE owe that. We went to the court house and to the title co. and that is just the way it is. When we went to our developer thru the supervisor at our home development they said that "he" should have taken better care of his contract.
Now this company has this Christian mission statement in their literature.

Well I composed this letter quoting some of their mission statements and laying out what had happened, and that it was a shabby way to do business and treat their home owners. We owned the home for 2 days! I am sending a copy to the Better Business Bureau, and the State Realtor Commission.

I know it won't do any good but just want to raise a little stink. Maybe get even just a little.
I think they are going out of business anyway, not building any more houses and laying most of their people off. Not sure where that will leave us here in this development with only half the lots built on. But thats another story.

Many are saved from sin by being so inept at it.

I love the title here. Was one of my little thingys at the sidebar here.
I have started with the volunteers at the library here in our fair city. I think I will love it. Did my first orientation yesterday. It was a big deal to learn how the carts are set up with books that need returned to the shelves. They are grouped on carts by category, then the shelver (that's me) has to put them in order and there is more to it than you would think, so that when you take the cart out you can go down the line and put them where they belong.

Hope in my next lifetime I am a reader. I just know I can't get around to reading all the books I want to in this life.

Stuff

What does "home is where the heart is" mean? What does "home" mean to you?
It seems that we have moved so many times that each time I sort of get a diluted feeling about my home. I find it harder to get very attached to it. Maybe because I feel it won't be the last one. Maybe part is the moving so often, maybe part is getting older and realizing that material stuff is just stuff.

I loved the old routine that George Carlin did years ago about "our stuff" Wish I could remember more of it, but the gist was that we all work hard to have our stuff, then need a place to put our stuff, but you can't take your stuff with you. I guess I feel like our home is just more stuff. And sometimes all the stuff just gets to feeling like a burden. Maybe that's why we need garage sales every so often so we can sell our stuff to someone else who is still looking for their stuff.

When we watch the news, and who doesn't feel alarmed now days, we say things like we need to just find a cabin in the mountains and go there, with no TV, Phones, or Computers. Well maybe we should. But we won't, cause we still think we need all our "stuff"

Food for thought

I Know

it's hard to be reconciled

not everything is exactlly

the way it ought to be

but please turn around and step into the future

leave memories behind

enter the land of hope

--Zbigneiw Herbert, from A Life

Wikopedia's defination

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a meaningful manner. In order to count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance.

When I looked up the word I found a site that uses this subject as a basis for a religion. Found that interesting.

I think my strangest synchronicity event was hearing a word that I had never heard before and the next day I saw that word on a license plate. Can't remember what it was, but I see small things frequently that to me a little whisper in my ear to help me be more aware.

Please let me grow old with joy

It is so hard to have a family member who is so negative, suspicious, righteous, pushy, opinionated, and well I guess thats enough.
I am talking about my nearly 85 year old SIL. Now I have known her for nearly 30 years and I don't see this as a new thing with her, just a worsening of her attitudes. On one hand she is the most generous person I know, then on the other hand so miserly that I have to just laugh so I don't get upset. She will gladly give something of value to someone if she thinks they will "take care" of it. But will hang onto silly things like say a bundle of old paint brushes, just in case she needs one, or a whole box of plastic cloths hangers, in case one breaks. This little stuff I can deal with, but its the other things that are hard to live with. She has taken a dislike to a neighbor that is katty corner across from her. They actually have a beautiful lawn, but keep kids bikes in the driveway and a mower, and trash cans along side of the house that is not noticeable unless you drive down the street. But every time we drive her home she cranes her neck to look and complain about what a trashy place it is and how she may have to call and report them. Oh, she loves to have a cause to be calling about. The house next door to her was repossessed, so is sitting empty, being a new home, the folks had not put a lawn in yet, so the weeds were growing. It became her mission to track down who (which bank) owned the house so she could get someone to take care of the weeds. She harassed the subdivision manager long enough that he went over and mowed them himself. But its just everything, someones dog, kid, weeds, wasps, wind, you name it. Its like she can't see any joy in anything.
So I have vented my frustration and maybe its just time I went to work so I don't have so much time on my hands and I won't end up being a negative person too.

I want to find joy everyday, even if I am the only one who sees it and no one else does. I would like to do Oprah's little thing of writing a little thankful note everyday, just for myself.

For today I am thankful for the little humming bird that is faithful to our feeder and the pleasure I get watching him sit on a tree limb near the feeder like he is the owner of it. Also for the smiles from the old Veterans I saw today riding the float in the July 4 parade and for the beautiful clouds with the sun shining thru as the sun was going down tonite.