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Friday, November 18, 2005

Have I become my Mother?


As I stood holding onto the kitchen stove to keep my balance, while I heated a hot pack in the microwave, glanced up at a mirror over the dining room table and thought I saw my mother looking back at me. With fatigue and pain on my face I could see her plain as day. God I hate that. My sisters and I have always joked about who looked the most like her, and of course no one wants to admit that we all do at times. But today I saw it for the first time in myself. You see I did something to my back yesterday, I think it is more than a twik. I had seen an orthopedic on Tue due to hip pain, but it wasn't exactly hip, not as in the hip joint but in front on the pelvic bone, has been hurting since my trip to Mo. in Oct. She thought it was bursitis and put me on an anti inflamatory to take twice a day. Well by Thurs I had no pain so was doing what ever I wanted, which was cutting dead plants from the flower bed. I had cut one garbage can full and was starting on the second when I bent over and got a sudden pain in the lower back and could barely stand up. I waited a few min but it didn't go away, so I made it into the house and have been in bed most of the time. Called the dr. today and AC went after more meds for me. Now my nitestand looks like my mothers, with all the bottles of pills. I have Vicodan for pain, Soma for muscle relaxer, and Cataflam for anti inflamitory. Geez and I don't take much more than tylenol. So here I am. This chair at the computer feels so so but think I have had enough of it. Got an apt. for Tue to see Dr. again. Maybe I can get a catscan out of her and see what is really going on with the low back and hips. See I am my mothers daughter after all. OR maybe I am a little high on all these drugs.

4 comments:

addict said...

I only met her once... My Mom had such a strong reaction to her (I'd never seen anyone break corelleware before)...
Genetics are completely different than "who you are"...

I hope you're back on your feet soon!

**Heather** said...

feel better soon hun!!

Hugs!!

marge said...

what em says is true . it took a couple of tranqs get me to chill out.I don't remember what set me off . you just can't get away from it , sooner or later you will see mother in ourselves , or god forbid, act like her. just remember that she gave birth to us, but in the long run we turned out ok , dispite her, not because of her. hope you back strightens up,it's no fun to be down in your back,hugs to you

Hippigirl said...

I remember her and I see nothing of her in you!! Thats all I've got to say about that.
I hope you get the back and hip stuff figured out. I know it's not fun at all.
Maybe it was the meds making you hallusinate. Those are some pretty good ones for that. Love you sending you healing white light to surround you and heal you.